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How To Divorce Proof Your Marriage

TEXT: Mal. 2:14-16

INTRO: In the past few weeks leading up to Valentines Day, I have noticed several articles on the subject of marriage that have used the term, "Divorce Proofing" your marriage. Some interesting ideas have been thrown out on the subject. As I thought on the theme. I decided since Valentines Day was just a couple of days ago, that I would share a few ideas on "How to Divorce Proof Your Marriage."

Let me hasten to say that I do not believe there is any fool proof, three step, no fail sort of plan. I do believe however, that there are some things that will at least help you give your marriage afighting chance of survival, in a day when the experts are telling us that 6 of 10 marriages performed since 1980 will end in divorce.

Folks, we need to do something! But what? Listen to some ideas.

I. MUST HAVE THE PROPER FOUNDATION:

Often, marriage is based on all the wrong reasons.

A. Some marry because of physical attraction.

Remember, what brings you together is what is going to keep you together, most of the time. What if that changes?

(1) What about weight gain? (People do gain you know)

(2) What about loss of hair? (Might be gone in 20 years)

(3) What about sickness or loss of health? (May not always be healthy)

B. Some marry because of pressure applied.

(1) It might be a pregnancy. Not the best reason to marry.

(2) It might be because of parents. (Try to pick for you)

II. MUST HAVE THE PROPER MAINTENANCE.

Why is it that so many get married, seem to have everything going their way at marriage, then a few years down the road, it falls apart? They failed to maintain. How do you do it? Gary Smalley, a well known marriage counselor, had an article in the Focus on the Family Magazine this month. He says marriages can be "divorce proofed" by applying one principle from the banking world. He says to look at your marriage like a checking account. You have to make more deposits than you do withdrawals to keep up to date. Let me explain that.

A. What is a Deposit? A deposit is anything positive and security-producing for your mate. (Two way street, right?)

(1) It's a gentle touch.

(2) It's a listening ear.

(3) A verbal "I love you."

(4) A special time together, just the two of you.

(5) A special card...... some flowers, or a balloon.

(6) The list is endless.

B. What is a Withdrawal? A withdrawal is anything sad or negative that hurts or frustrates your mate. (Two way street, again)

(1) A harsh word. (Boy that's easy! For husband or wife)

(2) An unkept promise. (Yeah, I'll vacuum.. Take out trash... clean out the carport.)

(3) Ignoring your mate. (Busy with paper, or t.v.)

(4) Public criticism. (Big withdrawal)

(5) Too much control. (Where you been? Who did you talk to? What did you talk about?) Demanding every little detail of information about everything can say, "I don't trust you!"

If you maintain your marriage properly, you must make at least as many deposits as withdrawals. Else, you're bankrupt!

III. MUST BE CHRIST CENTERED.

No marriage can be what it ought to be without Christ being the center of both lives. Paul gives a simple three point outline in the book of Ephesians that will work. He said, "Wives submit... Husbands love..... children obey." But, he's speaking of all that taking place as Christians, under the leadership of God.

A. Both must be Christians.

You can't read the Bible and claim Christian principles and then apply them to unbelievers.

(1) You should only date a Christian.

(2) You should only marry a Christian.

(3) People tell the preacher anything just to get married.

B. Both must be Committed. That is, Both husband and wife must be committed to Christ, for the marriage to be what it should be.

(1) The closer both get to Christ, the closer to each other.

(2) The further you get from Christ, the further from each other.

(3) Sad note: When one strays from Christ, the other has to stray also, or they will grow further apart. This often happens.

CONCLUSION:

I ran across an article in the Charlotte Observer the other day written by Pat Jobe. Here's the article written by one who has been through the devastation of divorce.

INVITATION:

If you are almost gone....... almost packed.... Will you take your mate by the hand.. Come ask God for help? But Don't ever give up.

If things are pretty good, but you're willing to renew your commitment to your spouse and to God, will you come?

If things are bad, now is the time to put God in control of your life and marriage.

From Cecil Lovelace- Pastor Goode's Creek Baptist Church- USA

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